How often, in various aspects of our lives, do we feel inadequate, a failure, unworthy of positions we may hold or the direction of life which we have chosen for ourselves. We struggle to find our "place", or balance within our own sphere of daily activity, struggle to carry a sense of being and worth within our hearts.
As children we are taught certain rules and boundaries by those who raise us, including grandparents, parents, siblings and friends of the Family. Whether these rules and guidelines are good or bad, a certain percentage of what we are taught as children will stay with us as we move through our teens and into adulthood. As adults we discard those rules which we feel don't necessarily apply to us, and form new rules and boundaries which we choose to live by. Thats life, and thats how society progresses, again, in either a good or bad fashion.
However, how often do we allow the boundaries and rules that others live by to effect us, at the expence of the person we are within our own hearts? I would suggest that this is a common thread for everyone, with the extent of this factor varying in each of us.
My GrandFather taught me much, and I remember being in his carport, tinkering with some project we were working on together, and I made a comment about my best not being good enough. I think I was 9 or 10 years of age. He turned to me, and with a stern but loving expression on his face, he said, "If you know that you have done your best, and tried the hardest you can, then your best is always good enough"
As a child, I didn't understand the full implications of what he was saying, but as I've grown into an adult, a husband(twice..lol), a father and grandfather, I've realised there is so much more to what he said to me that day.
There are many "types" of people in this world, with personalities as varied as our individual fingerprints, and each of those personalities that we encounter in our lives will effect us to some extent.
Work, family life, pleasure, leisure and even the mundane activities such as going to the corner shop, there are personalities which we encounter which we remember, for whatever reasons.
Some we purposfully allow to have a greater effect on us than others, but there is always some "residue" left with us from every person we meet.
Learning about ourselves, coming to terms with who we are internally/emotionally and finding acceptance and balance within ourselves is paramount to prioritising the residue left by others on our hearts and minds. Although it is often quite difficult to look inside ourselves, as I've mentioned in other blogs, it can be very interesting and fun.
Very often, the feelings of failure and inadequacy we may feel are not generated from within, they are generated by the boundaries and expectations projected onto us by others. We have psuedo-adopted another individuals rules and boundaries and used those when gageing our own actions, as either a success or failure, when in reality we should be looking at our own internal sliding scale as to whether we have been successful or not in whatever action we are justifying in our own mind.
If you know you are doing your best, you are considerate and sensitive to/of others, and harm no-other, then your best will always be good enough, regardless of the projections of others. The issue is theirs to contend with, not your own.
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